CDiff

Yesterday in chats Didlez informed me his boss told him he had diarrhea. this is what happened today.

(11:15:46 AM) Andrew: also cbf this atm
(11:15:47 AM) Andrew: To all staff:

It has been brought to my attention that that there is the possibility of exposure to a contagious condition within the office.

Until confirmation has been determined, I am advising everyone to please use extra pre-cautions. The best course of action to prevent contraction is proper hand washing.

The condition that you are being cautioned about is known as C-Diff. Below are details on the condition. It has been confirmed that an office personnel has been “exposed”, but is not yet confirmed whether or not they have contracted the condition. In the meantime, please be extra diligent to prevent the spread of germs.

(11:16:26 AM) Jase: "best for of prevention is to go home with pay"
(11:16:30 AM) Jase: *form
(11:16:40 AM) Andrew: same
(11:16:54 AM) Andrew: so im reading about this c diff
(11:17:07 AM) Andrew: Clostridium difficile (Greek kloster (κλωστήρ), spindle, and Latin difficile,[1] difficult), also known as "CDF/cdf", or "C. diff", is a species of Gram-positive bacteria of the genus Clostridium that causes diarrhea and other intestinal disease when competing bacteria are wiped out by antibiotics.
(11:17:12 AM) Jase: rofl yeah you know what that shit is?
(11:17:21 AM) Jase: fuckin shit germs
(11:17:27 AM) Andrew: i seem to recall one scumbag with diarrhea
(11:17:32 AM) Jase: rofl
(11:17:33 AM) Jase: omfg
(11:17:35 AM) Jase: yes
(11:17:37 AM) Jase: it was your boss
(11:17:38 AM) Andrew: so im pretty sure ive narrowed this down
(11:17:42 AM) Jase: that's why he wasn't in
(11:17:51 AM) Andrew: cbf this one bit
(11:17:52 AM) Jase: you are fucked friend
(11:17:56 AM) Jase: you are so fucked
(11:18:11 AM) Andrew: ill shit all over this office
(11:18:32 AM) Jase: god damn this needs to be posted on irc chats
(11:19:24 AM) Andrew: cbf this email atm
(11:19:27 AM) Andrew: theres like 5 people here today
(11:19:30 AM) Andrew: did she really need to email us
(11:19:41 AM) Andrew: also cbf having to find out by email
(11:19:43 AM) Jase: coulda just yelled it out the window
(11:19:49 AM) Andrew: yeah
(11:19:57 AM) Andrew: cbf this idiot not telling me himself
(11:20:05 AM) Andrew: i would have called his office instead of walking down the hall
(11:20:20 AM) Andrew: probably going to baracade myself in my office atm
(11:20:38 AM) Andrew: not about to get diarrea disease atm
(11:21:31 AM) Andrew: bout to write a letter back atm
(11:21:38 AM) Jase: lol
(11:21:43 AM) Andrew: "To All Staff: You guys are fucking gross."
(11:21:50 AM) Jase: fuckin lol
(11:22:15 AM) Andrew: swear to science if i get this bs im going to shit on his windsheild
(11:22:37 AM) Andrew: and his desk drawer
(11:22:50 AM) Jase: what does he care? he'll just wipe it off with his hands. apparently he wipes his ass with his hand as is.
(11:23:00 AM) Andrew: LOL same
(11:23:02 AM) Andrew: goddamn so gross
(11:23:53 AM) Jase: lol seems so dodge he'd tell you got had the shits sort of randomly and then the next day you get that email
(11:24:06 AM) Andrew: LOL same
(11:24:28 AM) Andrew: maybe that was his way of telling me he had shit disease
(11:24:33 AM) Jase: lol yeah
(11:24:37 AM) Jase: that's what im thinking
(11:24:42 AM) Andrew: cbf
(11:24:52 AM) Andrew: also cbf a church called life in the wild
(11:24:56 AM) Andrew: probably all blacks
(11:24:57 AM) Jase: he found out he had cdiff and was like oh fuck I better let someone know. hey new guy come here.
(11:24:59 AM) Andrew: not even going to call them
(11:27:33 AM) Andrew: lol cbf
(11:27:36 AM) Andrew: he just left for a meeting
(11:27:42 AM) Andrew: about to go infect a whole new bunch
(11:27:49 AM) Jase: lol cbf that ass hole
(11:27:49 AM) Andrew: i should email them and warn them
(11:27:53 AM) Jase: you should
(11:27:59 AM) Andrew: once it spreads it wont stop
(11:28:11 AM) Andrew: actually i dont know how it spreads
(11:28:14 AM) Andrew: i should do more research
(11:28:33 AM) Jase: spreads by you getting shit germs on you and giving them to someone else
(11:28:41 AM) Jase: it's a bacterial infection
(11:28:51 AM) Andrew: oh cbf
(11:28:56 AM) Andrew: severe infection of the colon
(11:28:59 AM) Jase: yea
(11:29:05 AM) Andrew: yeah i dont need this atm
(11:29:17 AM) Jase: lol how are you going to smuggle drugs if you keep shitting yourself
(11:29:46 AM) Andrew: i cant
(11:29:47 AM) Andrew: i just cant
(11:30:27 AM) Jase: welcome to the corporate world young didlez. a literal shit storm.
(11:30:37 AM) Andrew: LOL cbf life threatening accoridng to wikipedia
(11:30:42 AM) Andrew: goddamnit i quit
(11:30:48 AM) Andrew: i will not have this atm
(11:31:04 AM) Jase: better go buy some magnum condoms and wear them as gloves
(11:31:09 AM) Jase: and shoes
(11:31:13 AM) Jase: and condom
(11:31:36 AM) Andrew: im going to make a full body suit out of condoms
(11:32:01 AM) Jase: get lubed
(11:33:03 AM) Andrew: reallly cbf that idiot coming in here
(11:33:06 AM) Andrew: to tell me he was going to a meeting
(11:33:09 AM) Andrew: he could have called
(11:33:15 AM) Jase: umad?
(11:33:21 AM) Andrew: yes im still mad
(11:33:25 AM) Andrew: this happened like 5 minutes ago
(11:33:28 AM) Andrew: and im still thinking about it
(11:33:52 AM) Andrew: only good thing to come out of this is i dont have to do shit for the next two hours
(11:33:56 AM) Jase: tooth would get along well with this asshole
(11:34:15 AM) Andrew: probably not
(11:34:19 AM) Andrew: this guy was a cop for 20 years
(11:34:25 AM) Andrew: and hes a pastor now
(11:34:35 AM) Jase: he likes shitting himself though
(11:34:45 AM) Andrew: yeah but not in the way tooth would appreciate
(11:34:49 AM) Jase: lol
(11:35:36 AM) Andrew: it pains me to think of this atm but i do recall last week
(11:35:39 AM) Andrew: i think thursday
(11:35:42 AM) Andrew: i went into his office
(11:35:48 AM) Andrew: and it smelled as if he shit in his pants
(11:35:52 AM) Jase: loool
(11:35:58 AM) Andrew: i assumed he farted
(11:36:06 AM) Andrew: but it smelled like some fucking diarrea shit
(11:36:08 AM) Andrew: in his pants
(11:36:13 AM) Andrew: and now im fairly certain it was
(11:36:46 AM) Andrew: im going to start going outside to take a piss
(11:36:54 AM) Jase: piss in the parking lot
(11:36:55 AM) Andrew: not even going to go into the bathrooms
(11:36:58 AM) Andrew: yeah i will
(11:36:59 AM) Andrew: not even kidding
(11:37:05 AM) Andrew: im not stepping foot into the bathrooms
(11:37:11 AM) Andrew: where he has shit all over the place
(11:37:13 AM) Jase: not next to a car or anything just in the wide open area. facing a window.
(11:37:14 AM) Andrew: spreading his disease
(11:37:24 AM) Andrew: ill go stand right in the middle of the street
(11:37:29 AM) Andrew: and take a shit
(11:37:36 AM) Jase: make sure you do the stare like kenny powers
(11:37:40 AM) Andrew: LOL
(11:37:44 AM) Andrew: LOL cbf
(11:38:10 AM) Andrew: goddamn these assholes are lucky they pay me well for doing nothing at all
(11:38:36 AM) Jase: sue them for endangering your life.
(11:38:43 AM) Andrew: i will
(11:38:53 AM) Andrew: or ill steal their shit
(11:38:54 AM) Andrew: either way
(11:39:02 AM) Andrew: oh that reminds me i need to find those gas cards
(11:39:08 AM) Andrew: 18 gas cards for $45 a piece
(11:39:17 AM) Andrew: im taking them all :>
(11:39:25 AM) Jase: lol gg
(11:39:38 AM) Andrew: even though i use next to no gas to get here
(11:39:50 AM) Jase: it's the principle of the matter
(11:39:54 AM) Andrew: exactly
(11:40:14 AM) Andrew: goddamnit if i die from shit disease
(11:40:20 AM) Andrew: id be soo mad
(11:40:40 AM) Jase: :L
(11:40:45 AM) Andrew: somebody would make a movie of my life
(11:40:53 AM) Andrew: called Diddlez's Finest Hour
(11:40:58 AM) Jase: get shia lebouf to play you
(11:41:01 AM) Andrew: yeah i will
(11:41:19 AM) Andrew: 90 minutes of shia leboug dying on a toilet from shit disease
(11:41:29 AM) Andrew: will be both critically and commerically successful
(11:41:40 AM) Andrew: lebouf even
(11:41:41 AM) Jase: agreed
(11:42:03 AM) Andrew: actually no he will be credited as shia leboug in this film
(11:42:11 AM) Jase: lol
(11:43:28 AM) Jase: man it seems like that time Rev played Oregon Trail and you died of dysentery was pretty accurate.
(11:43:34 AM) Andrew: LOL
(11:43:42 AM) Andrew: goddamnit
(11:43:46 AM) Andrew: whatever happend to rev
(11:43:59 AM) Jase: Dysentery
(11:44:04 AM) Jase: or cholera
(11:44:18 AM) Andrew: C. Diff
(11:44:22 AM) Jase: lol
(11:44:28 AM) Andrew: cbf

laughing so hard atm.