Metal by Numbers

[DarkSpoon]

fucking hilarious video making fun of these bsfull poser metal bands



METAL BY NUMBERS
Music by Scott Ian
Lyrics by Brian Posehn

VERSE 1:
They’ve killed METAL twice, but it will never really die!
It’s kind of like a zombie or even that Jesus guy…

So grab your friends, some instruments and start a metal band
Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand

We’re coming to the end of the first verse…
Then comes the breakdown, a pretty chorus and then the second verse.

I know I just rhymed verse with verse
That’s because I’m sooo METAL, bitch, where’s your fucking purse?

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a baby could do it, just give it a try
Just sound like Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

SECOND VERSE:

I have to change my voice to make me sound (gang) MAD!
If I tried to sing clean it would make your ears (gang) SAD!

This is the (gang) GANG VOCAL and I’ll tell you the (gang) TRUTH!
It’s four sweaty dudes yelling in a (gang) BOOTH!

Music really sucks now Posers and trendy FOOLS
But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!
It’s metal by numbers, it’s not arithmetic
John Mayer, Kelly Clarkson…they all can suck my PENIS!

PRE-CHORUS(BREAKDOWN):

BREAKDOWN!!! In this part it sounds like the singer wants to fight…
BREAKDOWN!!! Don’t be scared, the chorus will make it all alright

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a monkey could do it, just give it a try
Copy Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

MOSH PART:
(BUILD UP)
Here it comes! C’mon! All Right!
ARE YOU ALMOST READY??
Dammit! I missed it!

(SPOKEN) This is the mosh part! MOSH!!!
Or don’t. It’s your call. I just stand in the back and try not to get hit. Watch out for the shirtless white trash guys. They’ll punch you and they stink. And look out for the screamo kids practicing their karate kicks. Dude, you look gaytarded. Oh no. Here comes a giant Mexican - he looks really pissed. I wish everybody would put their shirts back on, it’s kind of gross. Is this part still going? Here comes the lead break…Oh, not yet. Here it comes… here it comes. GO!

SOLO(Jon Donais)

CHORUS:

Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
Follow these rules and you will see
Cookie monster vocals or yell like a wookie
Metal by numbers, COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE!
Metal by numbers, 1, 2, 3
THIS IS THE GAY PART, with melody
Even a retard could do it, JUST GIVE IT A TRY!
Steal from Maiden or Metallica or Every Time I Die

[keenan]

WHats the difference between a real and a poser metal band.....

[MasterOfPuppets]

WHats the difference between a real and a poser metal band.....

True metal fans can tell. Hell, everyone can. It's not that hard.

[DarkSpoon]

WHats the difference between a real and a poser metal band.....

follow the directions in the lyrics to start your own poser metal band.

[keenan]

Whos to tell whats real whats not. Its all the same crap.

[ShockWave]

Just sing about death, Egypt and wizards or rip off Ayn Rand

Looool goddamn powermetal has such stupid lyrics. I don't mind the music, but the fucking fantasy crap is lame.

Funny video, though. Pretty accurate. There are way too many new bands coming out that basically scream, mix in some clean vocals, and rip off other bands.

I listen to metalcore for breakdowns, though. Some bands have incredible breakdowns that are arguably the loudest aspect of a song in any genre of music.

Hardcore dancing is retarded though. People actually kick and punch the air in 'circle pits'.

But compared to Coldplay and Nelly, EVEN SHITTY METAL RULES!

[DarkSpoon]

Whos to tell whats real whats not. Its all the same crap.

i could say the same about rap. but i wont because i don't listen to it. so i don't really have any perspective on it.

[keenan]

Whos to tell whats real whats not. Its all the same crap.

i could say the same about rap. but i wont because i don't listen to it. so i don't really have any perspective on it.

Exactly there really is no way to tell whats what.

[DarkSpoon]

that's not what i said at all. your reading comprehension fails. i said i wouldn't know the difference between poser rap and "real" rap because i don't listen to it. i was inferring that you should follow suit since you don't listen to metal.

[MasterOfPuppets]

that's not what i said at all. your reading comprehension fails. i said i wouldn't know the difference between poser rap and "real" rap because i don't listen to it. i was inferring that you should follow suit since you don't listen to metal.

Pretty much ownt keenan