hilarious fapping firsts

[Diddlez]

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3544481

I was looking for that fapping.org website that Buk used to frequent, and I came across this.

[Diddlez]

When I was eleven I was a habitual masturbator. I would do it anywhere, anyway, and anyhow. It didn't matter what I was doing I was thinking about masturbating. Well this one night my mom had taken the lotion into her room for some reason. So with no lubricant I got desperate. I decided to use a old bottle of selson blue. Well I beat off in my bed, came twice, pulled my pants back up, and fell asleep. Well the next morning I didn't have time to do anything. As I was so tired from the 30 minute spank session the previous night. (It was 2 in the morning). So I get up and go off to school.

Later that day I have to take a wicked bad piss. I unzip my pants, and look down only to discover the scariest thing ever. It seriously looked like all the skin had fallen off my penis. It was crusty, flakey, multicolored, and the skin was all dry/crackly. I immediately paniced, and in that moment of greater wisdom. Punched my testicles with the force of a gale hurricane. I started to step back from the immense pain now seizing my scrotum. Only to slip on some of the pee I leaked onto the floor.

Next thing I know I hear the loud cracking of the porcelain sink. Yes, I fell and cracked it over my head. I woke up 30 minutes later with a school nurse, a principal, and some person i'd never seen before all standing around. I will never forget that day....

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL holy shit I havent laughed that hard in forever

[Madmax]

LMAO.............. NOW THAT WAS SOME FUNNY SHIT...............LMAO

[MasterOfPuppets]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL



ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AHAHAHAH

shit is goddamn hilarious

[jim]

i promise this isnt me

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...1&postcount=25

[Spyder]

LOOOOOOOLOL that guy got banned recently too.

CBF selson blue though.

When I was a kid and I started doing this, I would use soap - which makes your dick sore. Then I moved on to lotions. LOL my ex stepsister had some good lotion and would wonder where it all went so I said the dog was probably eating it...meanwhile all she had to do was smell my hand once in awhile.

[DarkenedSoul]

LOOOOOOOLOL that guy got banned recently too.

CBF selson blue though.

When I was a kid and I started doing this, I would use soap - which makes your dick sore. Then I moved on to lotions. LOL my ex stepsister had some good lotion and would wonder where it all went so I said the dog was probably eating it...meanwhile all she had to do was smell my hand once in awhile.

Admit it, you were wacking off to your stepsister

[MasterOfPuppets]

Would be kind of funny if he somehow met up with her and she was all hot (if she wasn't before) and they got married. 10 years into it he's like "I used to steal your lotion and rub one out, honey"