My girlfriend parents were "out of town for the weekend" and "they won't be home until Sunday night." Sure, I'll sleep over!

This morning the first thing I hear when I wake up is her saying, "Shit, I think my dad's home."

Sure enough, I got to hide in her closet for a good half an hour. At one point he was just outside of her room while she was talking to him. Never been so scared in my fucking life. Fortunately he eventually had a shower and I snuck out - bones entirely unbroken.