I gotta shit...

[DESTRUCTION]

Some one posted this on the planetside forums... and i loled pretty hard(its worth the read imo.. toilet humor)







I think i have a problem. See this problem involved me eating crappy dorm food and now I cant stop pooping. See I was walking back from my programming final, and my stomach started rumbling. I was thinking in my head this cant be good. So I get back to my room, and log on PS. I run around pwning some noobs with my rocklet, and all the sudden, I feel something funky with my stomach. You know, the kind of feeling a women has when she is going to give birth...

And give birth did I, but not to any sort of child. It came out in a torrent of hot brown magma, spewing out of my butt like a water pouring out of a broken dam. And how it burned. I feel like I pooped out a full bottle of that Icy hot muscle rub stuff. My anus was burning like a thousand suns were crammed up there. Tears were coming to my eyes, as this spray of liquid turds splashed into my poor tiolet bowl. I swear, whoever is living on the floor below me must be pissed, because im sure my poo melted the plumbing pipes and causes some sort of flood of sewege water and liquid poo.

And then I look to my left, at the tiolet paper holder. **bleep** it, I thought, as there was only a few pieces of tiolet paper left. I knew it wouldn't be enough, so I had to run outside of the bathroom and I grabbed a roll of paper towels. This did NOT help, considering my butt was already burning and the tiolet paper was rough as hell. It was like sanding out a crevice filled with play-doo. It did was it was designed too however, and I was able to finish up, abeit with much swearing and pain.

Not twenty minutes later though, I had to crap again. I ran in, and the same thing happened. The stains on the bottom of the tiolet bowl were getting bigger and bigger. I started to wonder if this plague would ever end. Would I be stuck running between my computer chair and the tiolet? I was thinking of moving my rig into the bathroom. It sure would make this a lot easier on myself. I could pwn noobs and poo at the same time.

I ended up having to run in there a third time, and my rear spewed out the brown butter of death. I feel bad for all of the poor fish that have to deal with this sewage getting pumped into their streams. What else do you think causes those wierd two headed turtle mutations or the other odd deformed animals. They come in contact with my radioactive butt butter and grow a second tail or something. Seriously, I think my poo could be used in nuclear bombs, since it clearly has more destructive power then plutonium.

Any suggestions about how I can stop this brown plague from destroying all of humanity would be appreciated. For now, I'm going to lay on the floor crying about how my rear burns and how I should have never eaten that excuse for what my colleges dining hall calls steak...

[ShockWave]

Too long, didn't read.

[keenan]

Too long, didn't read.

Same but don't worry I can't imagine your missing much.

[NinjaGator]

l2read, its fucking gross and hilarious at the same time