I need your help, very badly

[Snooperz]

I understand what you are saying completely Deadly and everything you've said makes complete and logical sense.

"You must know that would never happen, right? Large retailers like Target have a set revenue budget every day per store. When I worked at Best Buy our goal was $100,000 on a week day. A store like Target is probably twice that or more. Every manager in that store would be out of a job before the day is through."

You would think, right? That nothing like this could ever happen, be legal, and that people could get away with it here in the US. I thought the same thing.

"Nobody at Target is going to follow you, ever. What you do outside of work doesn't concern your minimum wage employer. They could very easily do an internal investigation, but for what reason? What have you done to warrant it?"

I don't think they were from Target. I think they did that to induce paranoia in me and to make me sound crazy when I tell the story to anyone else.

"Not everyone you come in contact with is going to be nervous and teary eyed. You are not involved in some conspiracy and everyone in your town is not out to get you. Also, can you elaborate on what happened when the police arrived?"

Yes, as a matter of fact they are. Not everyone in my town is out to get me. In fact I don't think anyone is really "out to get me." It's more like 80-90% of the people I see ARE involved in a conspiracy. Whenever I drive somewhere I'll notice people in cars, on sidewalks, wherever, talking or texting on their cell phones while watching me.

I'm beginning to realize that this is not something that can be explained via text. It's something you have to see first hand and I would invite anyone of you to fly here and visit me. I would pay for your own plane ticket if I had the money and that's the truth.

The day before yesterday I went to the library. First of all, wherever I go, even here in my own neighborhood, I am surrounded by children ages 2-8. Every place I go to looks like a fucking daycare (grocery stores, 7-11, anywhere). Anyways, so I'm at the library looking for books, coincidentally, on conspiracies. Sure enough a lady sits down next to me with a baby. I get up from the computer catalog and start looking for a book on the shelf. There's a lady texting on her cell phone when her little girl (probably must have been 6 or 7) said "Mommy that's not your phone!"

So I called the police after I picked up my step-father's phone and the lady on the other line said "Get into the blue car." This is the crazy part though that I actually didn't feel like typing at an earlier time. When I called the police that first time, 9-1-1, the phone call actually went to that same cell phone where the lady said "Get into the blue car." I called again and got thru to 911.

So I tell 9-1-1 lady about my step-father, about what the lady on his cell phone said, etc. She kind of laughed at one point to be honest. So I'm on the phone with her waiting for the police to arrive on the back porch. Two officers arrive, one black and one white.

To be honest... I'm getting sick of typing these incidents out over and over again. I'd much rather you called me. My phone number is 360-413-1722. Maybe I'll finish typing this out later.

One last thing though.

"At this point you have to realize how absurd and ridiculous this is and how irrational you are being. I can say with the utmost certainty that these cable networks are not out to get you. Do you think they all got together and scheduled their programming like this on the off chance that you would be watching just to send you a message?"

No I don't think they all scheduled their shows at the off chance I'd be watching to send me a message. What I'm saying is somebody is fucking with my television. Somebody who is very intelligent and can make basically whatever they want appear on the TV. I understand this sound crazy and to be honest I'd probably be saying the same thing if I were you...

Also about 20% of the people around here are NOT involved in the "conspiracy" (or whatever you want to call it) and most of them happen to be military personnel. It's very hard to describe and I'd rather just talk so feel free to give me a call.

Interesting quotes from that psychologicalharassment.com website.

"Psychological warfare or using psychiatry in strong arm tactics is not a new phenomenon and it usually involves discrediting the target or having them declared psychologically ill. These tactics and technologies are usually used by powerful organizations. An example of this can be seen in the movie blue sky, set in the 1950’s, where the army uses psychiatry to hospitalize and medicate the target."

"It’s a fact that in the US, Canada, and the UK there are secret organizations that listen to all telecommunications in these countries and that they also share information among themselves. Many people also believe that these organizations share information with other organization indirectly or through indirect channels."

[Snooperz]

Another thing. One of the books I got the other day was American Conspiracies by Jesse Ventura. I have never seen him on TV or read one of his books until yesterday. This is the first 3 pages of his intro that I found interesting. I'm not sure if it's legal to directly quote 3 pages from a book so if we need to take it down I will.

" "A foolish faith in authority is the worst enemy of truth." - Albert Einstein


Why I'm writing about conspiracies in America

First of all, let's talk about what you won't find in this book. It's not about how extraterrestrials are abducting human beings, or the Apollo moon landing being a colossal hoax perpetrated by NASA, or that Barack Obama somehow is not a natural-born American citizen. I leave these speculations to others, not that I take them seriously. What this book will delve into are a number of things you don't see on TV or read about in the papers. The fact is, the media - the fourth branch of government that our founding fathers anticipated would speak truth to power and keep our democracy on track - has at least since the assassination of President Kennedy systematically ignored any "conspiracy theory" that might rock the Establishment's boat. We are, excuse my French, in deep shit today because of this head-in-the-sand mentality.

Let's start out by defining what a conspiracy is. My 2,347-page Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary says: "a planning and acting together secretly, especially for an unlawful or harmful purpose, such as murder or treason." Synonyms include plot, cabal, connivance, collusion. Hard to swallow? Think of the Roman senators who knocked off Julius Caesar in 44 B.C. But I guess we've come a long way since then, right? Think Operation Northwoods, circa 1962. We'll get to that in due course - Seven Days in May, that novel about a military takeover during the Kennedy years, wasn't far off the mark.

Clearly, there's something going on in out national psyche that the New York Times and the Washington Post don't want to examine. Look at the popularity of The X-Files, or Mel Gibson in the movie Conspiracy Theory. Not that I think we should all booby-trap our doors and hide behind our file cabinets, but sometimes those "lose nuts" turn out to be right! I'm tired of being told that anybody who questions the status quo is part of the disaffected, alienated element of our society that ought to wake up and salute the flag. Maybe being patriotic is about raising the curtain and wondering whether we've really been told the truth about things like September 11.

I guess my questioning of the "official" line goes back to my school days, being taught that we had to fight in Vietnam to stop the domino effect of Communism. That's what I learned in school, but my father - who was a World War II vet - took the exact opposite position at the dinner table. He said that was a load of crap, that the Vietnam War was all about somebody making a big money profit off it. At first I thought my dad was crazy, because I could not believe they would lie to me in school. I fought with him over it, and he'd keep doing his best to debunk what I was saying.

When I, in turn, went into the service and learned a whole lot more about Vietnam, I had the good fortune to come home and tell my father that he was right. Especially growing up in the Midwest, you never even contemplate that your government might not be telling the truth. You don't realize until you get much older that government is nothing but people - and people lie, especially where money and power are concerned.

The next prong in the fork was, when I got out of the navy and went to junior college one year, Mark Lane came to give a talk and I happened to hear him that night. That was the first time I ever paid attention to someone saying that what they told us about President Kennedy's assassination might not be true. I'd been in junior high school when JFK was shot, and I remember the announcement over the loudspeakers and being sent back to our homerooms and then school was dismissed. Like most everybody else, I saw Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald on TV, but I never questioned the Warren Commission's report that this disaffected ex-Marine had acted alone.

After hearing Mark Lane that year, I was at the height of my wrestling career during the 1978 congressional hearings into the assassination and didn't really start delving into any of this until wrestling changed in the mid-1980s. All of a sudden, I was no longer driving to towns, but flying. Sitting on airplanes all the time becomes extremely boring, so I started reading. Besides Mark Lane's Plausible Denial, I remember Jim Marrs's Crossfire and then a whole bunch of other books. When I'd see anything about the Kennedy assassination in the bookstores, I'd buy it.

So as I got older and started looking back at the Sixties, where every assassin was supposedly a "lone nut," I began thinking how could that be? These nuts who never told anybody anything or planned with anyone else, but just felt the need to go out and commit murders if prominent individuals - John and Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Malcom X. The odds of that, I figured, simply defied all logic.

It made me wonder who's really running the show. Especially when you look at things they now admit never happened, like the Gulf of Tonkin incident that drew us into the Vietnam War. These things, as portrayed by our government and media, seem to be the smallest segments of a bigger picture. It almost seems like a game of chess sometimes, where you don't understand the significance of one move until maybe a decade or two later and start to see the results oh how things turned out differently.

You can bet that during my four years as the independent governor of Minnesota (1999 to 2003), I was shielded from plenty of information, because they figured this guy will come and go. At the same time, I had some personal experiences that would tend to make a sane public servant start looking over his shoulder. (As William Burroughs once said, "Paranoia is having all the facts.")"

[Diddlez]

Hi I'm Dr. Edward Case. I need you to come in and take your medication.

[Snooperz]

^ LOL no shit.

[Diddlez]

I have eyes in every part of the world.

[Diddlez]

also why don't you come on MSN anymore?

[Lead]

sounds legit

[Diddlez]

After now reading your entire blog, everything besides the shitty situation you and your family are in seems perfectly normal. I don't know what help you were looking for when you posted this other than support to get better, but that doesn't seem to be the route you want to take. You seem to think you are perfectly ok right now but you very clearly are not. Maybe this whole thing was a troll and you really are fine, but if you seriously believe any of the stuff you wrote in that blog then you really need to find a good psychiatrist and get some help.

[Snooperz]

also why don't you come on MSN anymore?

I don't know I just haven't. I tried logging in with my old account and it doesn't work so you'll have to add me. jordan.bales89@gmail.com

[Spyder]

Not really sure how to respond to this one, other than to say that it looks like textbook schizophrenia to be honest. Reading that your mother is in a similar situation only reinforces this, as schizophrenia tends to run in families and quite often is passed down by a first-degree relative. Also it tends to manifest at around your age. Have you tried LSD before? That tends to open the "flood gates", so to speak, in those already prone to schizophrenia.

I should start by saying that I'm really concerned. One of my friends had schizophrenia in her family. It was passed from her mother to her brother and saw what it did to her family, and opted not to have children out of fear of passing it down. What concerns me is he had a lot of the same stories you do - people watching him and such, lots of very deep conspiracy theories, etc. More concerning yet is that he went off his meds a few years ago, ran away from people who were "following him" (even stole a woman's SUV to get away), and killed himself a few days later. I'm really hoping you're not socially isolated enough to where you think EVERYONE (including us) is in on something and feed you false information purposely, because we have no reason to lie to you (honestly we've been wondering where YOU'VE been). I'm not sure why you think people would want to follow you and do all of the things you've listed - I apologize that I haven't read the entirety of your blog, but I read enough to see that you appear very sick. You read into a lot of things that aren't actually significant. Let me explain my theory to you, because I think you're smart and will most likely at least understand what I'm saying (whether or not you agree). Note that I am not a doctor (obviously) but I do fuck Didlz's mom a lot in a Holiday Inn, which is basically the same thing...

The human mind can only process so much. Think of it as your normal computer system. You have your inputs that allow you to interact outside of the system, temporary memory, long term memory (like a hard disk), and a processor. One of the frustrations with the human brain is that it doesn't work to full capacity - that is to say, the processor is slow and, while being quite amazingly fast and what have you, it cannot process the sheer amount of information your senses (inputs) feed to it (I forget the exact number - something like one bit processed for every one million bits input, maybe even more crazy than that). To deal with this over-abundance of information, there is a filtration between your senses and the part of your brain that focuses on and processes information, otherwise you're prone to being overwhelmed and anxious. After viewing a series of information multiple times, your brain identifies the patterns within and assigns the appropriate response for it. From then on, that activity will be reacted to on a sub-conscious level automatically. A good situation would be driving. At first it's all a little overwhelming as you try to learn what to do in the car, what indicators to watch out for, how others around you drive, etc. Because of this, new drivers tend to be poor because their focus is divided between an overwhelming amount of information. Nothing is prioritized, so they might be focused on how fast they are driving in relation to the current speed limit and not identify that the person in front of them has stopped suddenly. Now, after a period of driving and repetition, patterns are identified and are then focused on less because your sub-conscious reacts automatically and you basically drive in auto-pilot. Eventually something will pop up that is not an identifiable pattern, like a person stopping suddenly in front of you, and you immediately break out of auto-pilot and deal with the problem at hand with full focus. Once the situation is dealt with and things return to normal, regular patterns re-present themselves and you go back into auto-pilot. This is a great evolutionary development, as you're not overwhelmed all the time and thus more likely to be able to respond appropriately and quickly to life-threatening situations.

Does that make sense?

If so - basically what I'm getting to is that your filters are off, much in the way that LSD would turn those same filters off (which is why acid trippers report that they take great pleasure in the mundane, things that we all typically overlook due to filters, like how things are attached and interact with one another - ie: how your fingers "grow" out of your hand) except in essence you're having a permanent, non-psychedelic bad trip. Without those filters, you don't overlook things that simply don't matter - like how there seems to be a lot of Idaho license plates around lately - and instead focus strongly on them. Because you don't understand it's significance (even though there is none), your mind races to link it to something concrete, like how your old boss had an Idaho license plate. From there you manifest scenarios to link everything together in an attempt to make sense of it all - this is called paranoia - like that your boss must've been sent from a military or government base in Idaho to watch you and report on you. In reality, simply put: those license plates don't matter. "Chance" is something that is typically filtered out because it's pattern is not significant to you or your survival, unless your sub-conscious deems it necessary to bring fourth to your conscious processing. Unfortunately you're not filtering that out.

To be honest, I don't believe in the more out-there conspiracies, like "aliens walk among us", but I'm open to many types of conspiracies, especially with factual evidence that continually point to the contrary of just being isolated occurrences, or chance. A good example would be the possibility of alien life visiting our planet. If one or two people fanatically wrote and talked about it, I wouldn't give it much thought. Since so many people (both smart and dumb, government and civilian, rich and poor) have given accounts that are similar, that really lends itself to the idea that they all have some credibility and there is something more than is currently known by the public at large. I myself have seen something strange fly in the sky during the day that struck me as odd (basically it bypassed my typical filter that would point to it just being a plane or balloon because it didn't fit those criteria and was brought to my immediate attention) but I didn't think much of it until others in the area also mentioned how odd it was. Was it alien craft? Maybe. Maybe not. Could have been something I just haven't seen before, like an experimental aircraft. Outside of this kind of conspiracy, I'm MUCH more convinced in corporations having a huge influence over America and American politics. However, I can't say I've ever felt that someone is watching me or wants me to have a psychological breakdown for whatever reason. My point here is that I'm not anti-conspiracy and if I felt the events you talk about had credence I would easily tell you so. Even if I thought 90% of what you've experienced is self-manifested but 10% might be something more, I WOULD TELL YOU SO. Here I'm afraid I don't

I would say try the treatment your doctors have prescribed you and see how you feel. It couldn't hurt, that's for sure. Everything just points to psychedelic, and I mean EVERYTHING. From delusional sightings ("someone was running around my backyard at night" - when this could've easily just been anything else, or nothing at all), delusional memories ("People in the cars around me looked very stressed like they didn't know what was going to happen (they started grabbing the back of their neck with their elbows in the air, looking towards my step-dad's house)." - this is just fucking crazy to think about, like a horror movie, and I don't think it really happened - you may have seen one person relaxing like this and your memories have blended together because your brain is over-processing and essentially some memories are corrupted, as in a computer hard drive), so-called 'word salad' (explaining things that have no real connection to anything - like when you talked about how your step-father moved to California and what he went through, which has no significance to anything at all and doesn't relate to any of your more bizarre situations you talk about around that blog post), and pointing towards insignificant information as if to indicate that it links to something else that is significant (like when you post the address of every location you talk about - this is sort of like how schizophrenia was experienced in A Beautiful Mind).

Another thing that doesn't help is that you're socially isolated to a degree in your area. Like you said, everyone you know lives away from you. In LSD, it's been documented that mice who continually dose show more and more signs of schizophrenia due to increased social isolation. Basically that continued overwhelming amount of information to process keeps you from interacting on any level with anyone around you, which leads to depression and more isolation, which leads to worse symptoms of schizophrenia. Basically if you're already prone to schizophrenia, the worst thing you can do is have nobody around you in your life. I'm not sure if we could possibly help you have some sense of normalcy on instant messenger or through this forum though but I would assume it at least wouldn't hurt.

Anyways I've written a lot here - and it may be difficult to digest. If you don't understand anything, feel free to ask for clarification.